My Message to the Sensitive Person:
My message to you is that you can live and even thrive in a world that doesn't quite match who you are and how you feel inside. Even if you cannot feel them around you, trust that there are other like-minded people such as yourself who are similar to you in nature and are as sensitive and deep as you are.
Regarding your feelings of transparency: No one can see into you unless you want them to.
While you may be able to intuit the feeling states of others, most people do not possess this ability. Even if it were true that others could sense your feelings or discomfort, it doesn't mean they really know who you are. A good measure of determining whether someone truly knows you is whether they feel compassion, respect, or love for you. If you don't get this feeling from others, then perhaps they don't really know you.
Regarding your perfectionism: I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is that you don't have very much control. And the good news is that you don't have very much control. In other words, you are off the hook in terms of trying to control everything and make it all come out ok. I encourage you to grieve over the fact that nothing can be done perfectly, and that you are not perfect. Grieving feels uncomfortable too, but it feels better than anxiety. Your need to be perfect is not helping to reduce your anxiety, it is actually increasing it. Learn to be ok with the feeling of being "good enough," and practice doing things that are just "good enough." Each one of us is a work in progress, and we are all beautifully, poetically flawed.
Last, celebrate your sensitivity, as it is a gift. Remember that as a result of your sensitivity, you make a great friend, a deep thinker, an original person, and someone with substance. I invite you to experience, with all your sensitivity, the natural expressions of humanness and imperfections that come with authentically relating to life. Your unique presence changes the world. I'm glad that you are here.
Heather Stone, Ph.D.
©2010 Heather Stone, Ph.D.